Transgender People Should Use the Bathroom of Their Choice | Elijah Nealy

Yes, I think the bathroom debate is largely
a distraction, and based on erroneous assumptions: One of which is the assumption that all trans
women are predators, and that’s not any more true than the myth that existed 25 years
ago that all gay men are predators. The reality is most sexual predators are cisgender
straight men. Most women and boys that experience sexual
assault growing up experienced that at the hands of a cisgender straight male perpetrator. The second erroneous assumption is that transgender
women are using the women’s restroom for any reason other than what any other women
would use the restroom. They’re simply using the restroom to take
care of bodily functions that we all have, and that myth or negative myth or stereotype
as trans women as predators is not valid. There’s virtually no data that documents
trans women attacking other women in public restrooms. It’s simply not true. But it is used and being used to police trans
people and to attempt to legislate transgender people out of existence in many ways and to
invalidate their existence—their right to exist in the world alongside, the same as,
anyone else’s right to exist. It’s also not very workable, right, because
as a transgender man in some states I would be expected to use the bathroom that matches
my biological sex. But the reality is I don’t think many women
would feel comfortable in the women’s room with me there. And there are trans men all over the country,
and in all the states that are looking at these laws are enacting them who move through
the world being seen only as men who would be very out of place in the women’s room. And there are many, many transwomen who move
through the world being seen as women and would be very out of place and at very high
risk if they were to be forced to use the men’s room. So the reality is while there’s this guise
of protecting women, it’s both not effective in that it means men like me would be using
the women’s room, and if it were really about protecting women we’d see a whole
slate of other bills around discrimination against women and women’s bodies happening
in the public sphere. Being able to use a bathroom that aligns with
your affirmed gender identity or gender presentation is an absolutely critical issue for trans
people. Number one, being able to use the bathroom
is a simple biological need and function that we all have, and it’s something that none
of us should have to think twice about. It’s something that none of us should need
an app in order to find a safe bathroom for when we’re out in public. It’s something that we should be able to
take care of and move on with our lives and not even give a second thought to. What we have instead is transgender adolescents,
middle and high school, elementary school kids, adults not using the restroom all day
long at school because they’re not allowed to use the restroom that matches their gender
identity or gender presentation. And rather than experience the gender dysphoria
or the harassment that comes with being in a restroom that doesn’t match their affirmed
gender they’re choosing not to use the restroom, and there are medical risks, physical health
risks associated with not using the restroom for extended hours at a time. It’s also a way of saying we don’t believe
you are who you are. So when Gavin Grimm is told “You can’t
use the men’s room” at his high school, the underlying message he’s being given
is, “We don’t see you as a man. We don’t believe you really are a man.” And that kind of message is crazy-making for
any of us. The reality is: as human beings all of us
want to be seen for who we really are. We want to be acknowledged for who we know
ourselves to be. We want to be accepted for who we are and
loved for who we are by the people closest to us, not in spite of who we are. And when someone, a young trans man like Gavin
Grimm, is allowed to use the men’s room, what he experiences is an affirmation that,
“We respect, we acknowledge you know who you are as a young man.”

Maurice Vega

100 Responses

  1. Wait I don't understand the hate on this video, unless people dislike the topic. Gender is cultural, sex is a biological fact, but the reproductive system as a whole doesn't always develop into a complete female or male. What you are attracted to has to do with your biology through evolution. Once we can control genetics in births, transgender people wont exist anymore. If someone who tries to complete the process of turning them into their preferred gender then let them, and then let them use the male bathroom if they are perceived as male, female if they are perceived as female. If anything, change rooms should be the discussion here, not bathrooms.

  2. they should use the bathroom for the gender they appear to be physically. why is it so hard? you arent going into the bathroom to play soggy biscuit or have a measure-off. jeez

  3. If you still have a vagina as a "transgender male" then I'm sorry to tell you, you are not a male, you are a female, until you have genital reassignment surgery, you will remain the sex you were born as, you may identify as a man, that's fine, but until otherwise, you will remain a female.

  4. If tg can use the bathroom of their choice, all others should be offered that freedom also
    Otherwise, you're discriminating against the majority of Americans

    Fair is fair


    I'm not a cisgendered straight male I'm a normal boy I'm 14 why do I have to grow up with dumbfounded people who can't even tell if they have a penis or not vise versa.

  6. This video misses the point! Someone like Caitlyn Jenner, a heterosexual man, has no right to be in the bathrooom with MY WIFE or my TEENAGE NIECES!

  7. Can u image a bar setting, where a heterosexual man, like Caitlyn Jenner, wants to use the bathroom with a woman he has been interested in? He has no right to be there. Bathroom stalls do not offer a lot of privacy. THIS IS NOT RIGHT!!!

  8. If you have plumbing on the outside you are male, if you have plumbing on the inside you're a female, it's just that simple, I don't know why people have to make it so damn complicated. Just because you feel like something doesn't mean you are

  9. The hell they should. (I am male; have been my whole life.) The bathroom I go to is the one I don't want women – not even a wife – to walk into if I am using a urinal. If I am going #2, I recommend you all give me privacy … and an economy sized Fabreeze.

  10. So when a 67 year old "trans" goes in a woman's bathroom with a 5 year old little girl what are you going to feel, ok that a little girl is with a still a man in a bathroom. I wouldn't let my child be in there with them, there is a chance that a little child or any woman could be in danger because someone just says oh I'm trans

  11. although i support all homosexuals, and think they should be able to have the same rights as heterosexuals when it comes to marriage and adoption. I disagree with what you just commented bc christians ABSOLUTELY DO think that pre-marital sex is a sin. IDK where you heard or who told you that pre-marital sex and having children out of wedlock was ok, but ALL Christian's believe that's ABSOLUTELY 100% a sin in the eyes of God. Before you go on the defensive, call me a bigot and attack my character. Remember i am 100% for homosexuals having and receiving the EXACT SAME rights as heterosexuals in every aspect of life. Also, as a right wing conservative, I would support and defend my 6 and 3 year old daughter's until the day i died if they came out to me as being gay. I wouldn't loose an ounce of love or respect for them, and would admire their courage and strength for being proud of being who they really are and not letting people affect their ability to make their own path in life and for being a leader and not a follower of what is supposed to be the norm… However I don't agree with a transexual man that says he's a woman wanting to use a females public restroom. I think this could be an excuse for the men that are sick and depraved to lawfully be in the same restroom as young girls. I know not all transsexuals are like this but it opens up Pandora's box for the disgusting, sick, and depraved pedophile's that would take advantage of the law. This shouldn't even be a debate!!! I've been in jail in the past, and I would ABSOLUTLEY be willing to catch an assault charge and be locked up if ANY man be it a gay, straight, or transsexual man. I'm no bully or "badass" in any way, However IDGAF bc any BIOLOGICAL MALE in ANY WAY that tries to use the same public bathroom as my 6 or 3 year old daughters will catch a beating so bad it might constitute attempted murder!! I know not all transsexual men are predators toward woman or children and not all are pedophiles but i will NOT take that chance and i will NOT give a sick depraved pedophile that chance to abuse my child, or any child i thought was in harm's way. This is just a step to far! You wanna make it mandatory for a business to have a "gender neutral" restroom if they have a male and female public restroom, that's fine. But all that's going to accomplish is
    prompting businesses to shut down or take out access to their public
    restrooms… And new businesses, especially new small businesses, like the one i just started, will just save the money and won't even bother installing public restrooms, instead investing that money in more stock or advertising, which IMO is the smartest and best place for a new small business to invest bc w/o clientele or customer's the business will fail. As of now i have public restrooms, but if the government told me i had to install or make available a "gender neutral" restroom, i would choose to make my male and female restrooms out of order. Instead, I would invest the $10,000 or so dollars it would take to install plumbing, electrical, drywall, flooring, and sanitary fixture's into advertising. Since i plan to set aside 7 to 15 percent of my gross revenue for advertising anyway, this stupid fuckin shit would be an easy decision and a good start on that 7 to 15 percent bc I will NEVER put my clients nor their children in the situation of having to let a GROWN MAN use the same restroom as them, or their daughters and vice versa for their son's. This is just wrong and it's fucking reckless and puts ALL children in potentially a dangerous situation!!! My clients can always ask to use my private restroom i have in my office or since im a busy attorney that does very well, and care about what my employees want/need/prefer, i have a private/employee only restroom for both my secutaries, my clients could use one of them if i shut down the public restrooms. And i have talked to some of my clients that have brought this up bc they legitimately fear for their children's privacy and well being…, EVERY SINGLE ONE of them, all 23, that I've had discussions with about this topic say the exact same thing!! Them plus their immediate family feel this is 1000% WRONG and will support my stand to close my public restrooms if this becomes mandatory. But hey, they know they can always ask to use my private restroom if them or their kids need too!!! Like i said, this is opening Pandora's box and its not a matter of if, but more like WHEN will this becomes the reason an innocent child is abuse emotionally by a peeping tom, or physically by a sick, depraved pedophile. And let's not forget this opens up the door for an unaccompanied pre-teen to be abducted by a predator….Fuck this shit. I'm for you expressing your self and being who you are, but there has to be a line drawn and limit for transsexuals, just like there is for heterosexuals & homosexuals!!!!!

  12. "Being able to use the bathroom is a simple, biological need and function that we all have. And its something that none of us should have to think twice about… …It's something that we should be able to take care of and move on with our lives and not give a second thought to…"

    Alright, so why the hell are you making such a small thing into such a huge, complex deal? Use the bathroom that's easiest to make use of (the one which matches your initial, biological gender), get the ordeal over with as privately as possible and stop whining over nothing to begin with. Also, I was always led to believe that bathrooms were areas that, even in public, offered some degree of PRIVACY… You really don't need to show off the fact that you're a vanity-oriented trend-follower seeking attention and special treatment over the simplest of concepts and most basic human needs… "Big Think", huh? I really do expect more from a channel with such a name… SJW trends (or any group, for that matter) are merely laughable at their worst, and to be ignored at their best.

  13. Real simple, if you transgender and you look the part you can go into the desired bathroom, if not then you can't and you look like a creep to most people. Personally I don't care, I just think it's all socially engineered occult bullshit that this is pushed by the media and promoted out of government in order to get their foot in the door breaking up the traditional enemy of the state aka the family.

  14. I'm completely fine if I meet a trans woman in the bathroom but I highly doubt i would because I live in Ireland and a lot of people are still unhappy with transgender people. BUT FOR THE LOVE OF GOD DON'T MAKE THE BATHROOMS UNISEX.

  15. Oh good, i always wanted to take pictures of a woman inside the toilet.

    You know as well as i do that im not serious about it.

  16. I got a solution if u have a dick use the mens br if you have a vagina use the womens br there not that hard to do

  17. Transgenders don't make up very much of the population lol. Saying that most child predators are cis gender men is like saying there's mostly blue jelly beans in a bag of jelly beans where 87% are blue, 9.9% are pink and .01% are green. Wtf are u comparing man!? It's cus that was just the most ridiculous thing to say and it's a terrible tactic to make people think about. It's not reasonable and is just an outright evasive maneuver. 🤣 P.S. do u have any idea the percentage of those cis gender predators willing to pose as a transgender to get to the victims they want? That's what u should be looking into my man.

  18. Lol the serial killers that murdered women who dressed as women comes to mind with what this guy said from the start…just saying lol

  19. Were talking about The fact that people are going to lie do you not know what a lie is? If you’re capable of raping a child you’re capable of lying.


    It's a mental illness!!!
    Feeding into mental illness is the decline of society, grow up people and read more!!

  21. As a young woman I too have rights and I don't want to share a public restroom designated for Women with a Man dressed in Drag . When I go to the gym I have a right to privacy in that I don't want a Man entering the showers just because He wants to Pretend that He is the opposite Gender that He was assigned at birth. Why should these people rights supersede over the rights of the majority? They preach about Tolerance but they don't want to be Tolerant of the majority who don't want to have a Male in our Restrooms, Locker rooms, or Showers. These people whine about not being comfortable having to use the Men's Restroom when they identify as a Woman but ignore we who are not Comfortable with a Biological Man in the Women's Restrooms . This is wrong as well as immoral. I have rights and I will fight for my rights.

  22. So you're telling me let some dude who wants to play princess go into a ladies room that my daughter is in?! I THINK THE FUCK NOT

  23. no they should not have a choice. if you're mtf use womens restroom and if you're ftm use the mens. this works perfectly and in the words of Ru Paul don't fuck it up.

  24. Great vid, yeah ppl tend to forget that trans men even exist, b/c they are so concerned about keeping those "evil trans women" out of the women's restroom.

  25. Give me a break. I can't wake up tomorrow and decide that I a woman, then walk into a girls bathroom. That is disgusting and very disturbing.

  26. Gender has no presentation. If you can't tell the difference between a prostate and a uterus, look it up. Change the bathroom signs from men/women  to prostate/uterus; problem solved.

  27. Use a bathroom of your choice? Yea I sense a recipe for violence brewing! I could not even imagine how I would react if a genitally mutilated guy walked in a toilet after my daughter?

  28. I think if a trans person didnt get their penis/vagina removed, they go in their born genders bathroom. I want people with vaginas in the girls bathroom, people with dicks can use a urinal like normal. But they should have bathrooms ONLY for people who have had their penis/vagina removed. So just skin there. That way the define as gender neutral. Only gender neautral people can use those bathrooms.Or they could use disabled toilets when a disabled person does not need to use it.

  29. This is horrible! I don’t want to have a random girl staring me down as I relieve myself, and the gender neutral bathrooms won’t work either because what if a 8 year old girl sees a penis?

  30. I don't like trans but trans menwomen should be able to use the bathroom of there choice so I could throw on a wig and go see some pussy

  31. You either have a penis or a vagina. You can say or think you are the opposite sex and be that sex. You can’t change your sex. So can you just stop being like this and be proud of the sex you receive if it is either male or female. Be proud in you being you and don’t try to change your sex. It’s not going to happen.

  32. People argue transgenders should have “right” to use restroom.

    Right? I think y’all mean “special privileges”.

  33. Not a trans but heck yay I will use the mens room as a woman when push comes to shove. It was either stand in a long ass line and shart on myself or go race in the mens room where the stalls are usually clear. I got some looks but when u gotta go u gotta go. No perversion intended I promise.

  34. I would say that not to allow transgender people to use the bathroom that is not that of their birth gender is reasonable, unless there is surgery, in which case I say there’s nothing wrong with it. You just have to respect that people might not feel comfortable with the opposite gender in a space made for their gender. Period.

  35. there are many examples in the media of trans women being violent . In Sydney Australia last year a trans women attacked two people in a 7/11 and at the trail she pleaded insanity and said she was upset because she was rejected by a women earlier that day. They are always going to be biologically men and I do not want them ion the female toilet. If you change your sex you are mentally unstable

  36. Yall realize alot more people would feel safe if you made the bathrooms safer? I mean you can see under and over the stalls and in-between the sides, I remember one time in 5 grade (I'm in 8th) and the locks on the door where something you turn and it locks but on the outside, there was a circle with about a quarter thick line, and to unlock it all you had to do was stick the quarter in the line and turn…and the door open and ud be able to get into the stall, let along just being able to climb under or over the stall, how is that safe?!?!?


  38. my gender is not a costume. Gender appropriation is a statement of power, saturated in ridicule. With a butch haircut, crass profanity, appropriating our dress and exaggerated masculinity when those features do not belong to you, you lay claim to something that is not yours. You make a mockery of something sacred, you perform a cheap imitation of something ancient or meaningful that you don’t even bother to try to understand. There’s no respect or admiration in appropriation. You can love a gender without claiming the right to its intricacies as your own.

  39. This is very easy, it the transgender has a dick, it should not be allowed in the women's restroom. It is misogynist to allow males with dicks into the women's restroom. Let us not pretend that the gains of trasgender does not come at the cost of real women.

  40. No..if u have a penis..u per in the boys room…if u have a vagina use the girls room..problem solved…woman don't want penises in the bathroom

  41. If I see a man wanting to use the female bathroom and creep around some young girls I will deal with them and call the police like last week this sicko in his 30s came in had full makeup on and spoke to a 5 year old little girl and I called her mother and said there is a man inside well he was arrested the security guy called the police we shouldn’t allow men in our bathroom they can go use the men’s toilet which they are and won’t ever be a women

  42. Disclaimer: I have nothing against non-binary people, and I have nothing against trans people. This comment is only here to highlight a lot of the issues and flaws of our idyllic views of how trans and non-binary people should be treated. *Here's the thing: If you're Transwoman, and it has been certified that you're now a lady, identify as a lady and now have a vagina, then fine, use the lady's toilet
    If you're Transman, and it has been certified that you're now a man, identify as a man and now have a penis, then fine, use the men's toilet*

    But right now the problem with legitimising Non-binary, etc, the problem with the toilets is that a 'Non Binary' person can use the male's

    The whole purpose if different bathrooms in the first place was to stop men from invading a lady's privacy when she doesn't want him around to see certain things, and vise versa. It also was proven to decrease the probability that the man would rape the woman, or vise versa.
    If we were to create an entire extra bathroom dedicated to just "non-binary" people, then both men and women could use it claiming that they're "non-binary" as their excuse, so they can really go and get it on, take nude pictures of the other gender, etc, or rape the other sex.
    Some non-binary-phobic people may purposefully occupy non-binary toilets to annoy or hurt genuine non-binaries. So that's the dilemma.

    Another dilemma is what do you do if you're genderfluid? In places like school everyone is less mature, and they feel the need to label each other as either "man" or "woman". If you asked them, a gender-fluid person would probably say, "neither. I am me and that's all there really is to it" And to be honest, I would be happy with that answer. Unfortunately, understanding that humans can't be labelled like inanimate objects is one of the most mature lessons you can understand. Think of it like this: everything we know is based on our perception. That tree on your left is made up of millions of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen atoms, and by the social norm, naming something for what it is would mean you would have to call every human you can across as "a mixture of carbon, hydrogen and oxygen atoms" or even "a mixture of protons, neutrons and electrons". But by human definition, if you break off an atom from the human body, it is still a body. So, the laws of labels can easily be bent and changed according tp people's perception, and these people have actually done nothing wrong. These social norms were created by men who believed themselves to be pulgrimsnif god, and that by saying to stick to a role you were "being a man". This phrase was meant to belittle any man who did not conform to the standards set by this person. Then if I needed to know urgently whether The person was a boy or a girl, I could notice logical and reasonable patterns that lead me to believe they are trans, or homosexual. I will not make any immediate assumptions if I feel I may be wrong, but decide your opinions off all the facts and not some rash opinion made about this person. Don't immediately trust your own feelings. Not everything that feels good is good, not everything that feels bad is bad. Drugs feel good at the time, but you know for a fact it has lasting damage on tour health.

    Its true. We need something that works better. I wish I knew a better way things could work, but merging the toilets together would increase crime, increase the rate of sexual abuse or harassment, and make our Instagram stories a lot more disturbing than it needs to be. I hope we come up with a better solution in the near-future.

  43. HAHAHAHAHA!!!!


    oh wait, you're being serious?

    No no no…'re joking…….


  44. ummm…. no

    If you're a transgender from a boy to a girl, you're still a boy.
    If you're a transgender from a girl to a boy, you're still a girl.

    So in conclusion, use the toilet your biological gender is suited for.

  45. Personally I believe there should be adult bathrooms and children bathrooms, because schools are usually like this anyways. The faculty and visiting parents have to use private restrooms away from students. Also most rapists are adults not children. By teenage years and up people know what they're doing, why they're doing it, and they have control over themselves. On the issue of transgender people using locker rooms, locker rooms should have stalls for changing. Having to undress in an open space with other people is creepy and violating anyways.

  46. Ummm does this person have bells palsy or are they having a TIA…I'm definitely observing facial paralysis on their left side.

  47. I swear to god world war three is going to start because of just THIS
    People are getting really fired up about it

  48. I have a right to a bathroom to people of my own gender. Men with vaginas shouldn’t be allowed to come in to the boys bathroom because they feel comfortable in there. The left bases everything on feelings and not facts. Penis = man vagina = woman. Use the bathroom that correlates with your biological sex. They talk about how trans people will feel uncomfortable using the other bathroom, but what about the “cisgender” people that will feel uncomfortable? People that are using the correct bathroom, shouldn’t be made to feel uncomfortable either. Trans people make up a very, very small part of the population, so the rights and feelings of the “cisgender” people should come first. Use the correct bathroom or don’t use it at all.

  49. Well…….no. I don't want a, technically speaking, male in my restroom. If they've had the surgeries, then of course, but I really don't like this "they deserve to be able to use the restroom" thing.

  50. Bathrooms are created for diferent sexs. If you have a penis you go in the mans if you have a vagina you go in the womans. If you think your something else it doesnt matter.

  51. Look goodluck to anyone who should have the right to be who they want to be but if i found out a bloke was in a bathroom with my daughter i would not be happy.

  52. Fuck this bullshit! I get so sick of people and their political correctness, which always infringe upon free speech!!! This is why people get tired of transgender people.

  53. Dear straight men,
    I’m not gonna hate you for those reasons alone. I’m not like the other toxic people in the LGBT community. I would only hate you for the things you may or may not have done in your life. The LGBT community can be reeeeal toxic at times. From a gay kid

  54. So false because no matter what there are sickos out there whether their gay, straight, or Trans….there will be a predator its just safe for them to have their own bathroom because somebody can use that as an excuse to prey on an innocent person. No body ever said all Trans women are naturally predators and molesters. It just best to be safe than sorry. Am I getting through to anybody with a brain?

  55. This is stupid. Using the opposite restroom is stupid. Being upset that you can't use the opposite restroom is stupid. Being scared of someone else else will be using the opposite restroom when a law was passed that allows it is also idiotic. Just because the law says "you can't use the opposite restroom because you are male" doesn't mean SQUAT! A predator won't care about if they are allowed or not allowed to use the opposite restroom because they are already breaking the law. So being scared that a predator will come and get you just because legislation was passed that allows anyone to use whatever restroom they want is retarded since they can easily enter the restroom either way and do the same nasty thing they would do. No way people can be this retarded unless they have actual mental retardation. You don't talk with people in the restroom. You don't look at people in the restroom. You don't care about people in the restroom. So everyone needs to stop caring so much, including transgender people. You can't use the opposite restroom. WHO CARES? You can use it. WHO CARES?!

  56. Universal trans restrooms used by both men and women seems fair. They share the same ideology and empathize. Also, innocent children wouldn't be confused or forcibly 'educated' as to what is going on. Predation shouldn't be an issue, nor should affirmation. Accepting and respecting trans-peoples' beliefs is one thing; mandating others to pretend that they are the ideal self that they project is something else.

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