The US Government's Airline for Prisoners



This video was made possible by Audible. For Amazon Prime Members, get three months
for the cost of one by signing up at audible.com/HAI. The United States, as one of the world leaders
in social welfare innovation, has made great strides in eliminating homelessness by offering
free, unlimited food and housing to millions of people. All you have to do is say this extra-special
cheat-code and then you’re in. Now, the accommodation in these prisons might
be less than stellar, but its not polite to complain when indulging in the hospitality
of others. The other thing the US is good at is being
thicc. This place is far from that place and that
place is far from this place—that’s how distance works. What that means is that, if someone does the
murder there and then hops over to here but then gets arrested they have to get back to
there to get tried. Other large countries, such as Russia and
China, eliminate this inefficiency by just getting rid of that burdensome, “trial,”
phase altogether, but the US has another solution. Now, as much as a cross-country criminal road-trip
sounds like a great movie premise, what makes for an even better movie premise is an airline
specifically and solely dedicated to transporting prisoners. Wait, I think I might have something here. We could have it where the prisoners start
a riot and take over the plane and force it to land and… yeah, this is good, this is
good. Let me call my agent…oh, wait… damn it Nicholas Cage! Yeah, so, unfortunately, for many reasons,
this movie exists and so does the premise behind it. It’s called the Justice Prisoner and Alien
Transportation System or JPATS. The core of this transportation system, which
moves over 700 prisoners per day, is a few 737-400’s. These aircraft supposedly fly on a regular
schedule. I mean, their website literally says so, although,
the investigative reporting division of Half as Interesting spent literally minutes pouring
through flight logs and could only sort of find a regular schedule. Like, for example, they have this rotation
where they fly from Oklahoma City to St Louis to Terre Haut to Detroit and back to Oklahoma
City leaving at roughly 8:00 to 9:30 am which they often fly on the first and third Monday
of the month but then sometimes they just…don’t. Or sometimes they’ll fly this an extra random
time per month or sometimes they’ll just skip a city or rearrange the order or whatever. It’s like they have a schedule and then
put a very minimal government employee level of effort into following it. But anyways, a passenger’s journey on America’s
second worst airline goes a little like this. Let’s say our prisoner, jailed for revealing
the government’s printer codes, is housed in the Federal Correctional Institution in
Oakdale, Louisiana and needs to testify at a trial in Chicago. Usually, inmates are told nothing in advance
about their transfer in order to deter chances of escape. Step one is likely getting woken up at an
ungodly hour of the morning to get searched and then plopped on a bus. At this point, an inmate would know they’re
getting transferred but they would have no idea where they’ll end up at the end of
the day—it’s sort of like connecting through Newark airport. Said bus would then drive 70 miles or 110
kilometers south-west to Lake Charles Regional Airport where the inmates would be thoroughly
searched and then loaded up onto one of the JPATS planes. Now, these planes are pretty much normal passenger
planes aside from being an absolutely ancient 26 years old. Onboard, the inmates are handcuffed, fitted
with chains around their ankles, and are accompanied by some of the grumpiest flight attendants
in the industry—US Marshalls. These Marshalls apparently carry guns loaded
with hollow-point bullets. These reduce the chance of a bullet piercing
the aircraft hull if fired. JPATS carefully schedules the inmates to reduce
the chance of an airborne prison riot—if two members of rivals gangs need transport,
for example, they’ll almost certainly be assigned different flights. Now, back to our itinerary, from Lake Charles,
the aircraft typically flies to Midland, Texas to drop off and pick up more inmates before
flying back to its base in Oklahoma City. Upon landing, the aircraft does not taxi to
the passenger terminal but rather it bypasses that and arrives here. This special little solitary jet bridge connects
to the aircraft and then our prisoner would walk down this long hallway into the Federal
Transfer Center which bears an uncanny resemblance to the undoubtably even less pleasant Charles
de Gaulle Airport Terminal 1. The Federal Transfer Center is essentially
the prisoner’s layover hotel at Oklahoma City Airport. They wait here for an undetermined number
of days until the next flight to their final destination. In the recent schedule, the wait between the
flight from Lake Charles for the next flight to Chicago has been about 11 days. Once the day of their next flight arrives,
the prisoner would walk back down that long hallway, board the plane, and fly to their
next accommodation to await their appointment at trial. This is what happens every weekday as these
white, nondescript 737’s shuffle prisoners across America’s skies. Now, if you’re trying to decide whether
to fly this airline, you should hear the review from one of its former passengers—Piper
Kerman. She’s the author of Orange Is the New Black,
the book that the show is based on, which itself is based on her own experience in prison
and it includes a section on when she was transferred using JPATS. I know most people can’t find time to sit
down and read books, so rather, you can listen to this book when you’re driving, doing
dishes, at work, going for a run, or whenever through Audible. Audible has the largest selection of audiobooks
on the planet in addition to a huge amount of Audible Originals. Exclusively in the month of July, Audible
is offering Amazon Prime members their first three months of membership for 66% off by
going to audible.com/HAI. With that, you can listen to Orange is the
New Black or pretty much any audiobook you want, once again, at audible.com/HAI.

Maurice Vega

30 Responses

  1. 🛑 Stop right there 🛑 
    You are legally required as a HAI viewer to submit at least one topic suggestion each week. If you don't want to end up in the jail plane, submit a topic suggestion here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfUdlvw6YgU44J8AnM2U_ZvRMyvh_CUM51LYSqF5nYJB9d1-w/viewform?usp=sf_link
    If we use your topic, we'll reward you with a free t-shirt sent to your door. If we don't, we'll reward you with nothing. If you don't submit a topic, we'll reward you with internet jail.

  2. The US Marshalls on JPATS probably carry special ammo designed to reduce the chance of piercing the hull of the plane. But pretty much all law enforcement and anyone who carries a gun loads it with hollow points because they're more effective.

  3. "This place" is far from "that place" and "that place" is far from "this place"…getting to know new things😂

  4. Not much difference between flight attendants for United, American, Delta, etc., and their counterparts at JPATS.

  5. Russia doesn't skip trails at all
    It executes them with a 99% success rate for the prosecution. Almost equally horrifying.

  6. Your videos used to be very interesting but now just have too much schtick and it is detracting from the quality quite a bit. I have been a long time subscriber but am slowly getting less and less interested in both of your channels. I am hoping you return to the original format that built your subscriber base because those videos were quite interesting and I appreciated the topics and research. Just wanted to share my thoughts and hope in a constructive manner.

  7. I'm surprised I don't see any comments pointing out that frangible ammo breaks apart on impact with a hard surface, not hollow points. Hollow points just expand on impact to make larger shock cavities, wider wound paths, and to dump kinetic energy faster so it is imparted into your target, not whatever is behind your target. Also aircraft skin is surprisingly thin aluminum or composite material and basically any handgun round that you would trust for defending yourself is going to sail straight through.

  8. LOVEEEEEEE how you put the sponsor in. Oh so effective and oh sooooo smooth. Even MJ would be proud. 👌👌👌

  9. 4:50 that book and that show is retarded, why would you even mention that. Orange is the new white, there you fu*king racist loser

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