The Government Is Lying to You – Ron Funches

now they're just certain people I have no time for like if you're sexist or homophobic or if you don't believe in conspiracy theories not believe in any conspiracy theories I understand not all of them not most of them but you don't believe in any conspiracy you just think the government's just batting a thousand they're telling us the whole truth that's a strong stance to take and you know as I said before I don't like talking about politics on stage are all staged so I'm like talking about things I don't feel like I'm truly knowledgeable in I do know it is our government is placed in charge of all of his people I'm a father who's been placed in charge of just one son and I lie to that nigga all the time [Applause] I just love conspiracy theory I have my whole life make some up when I'm bored why is it that every time you're getting ready to take off on an airplane the captain out on over the loudspeaker you always heard the same exact thing you always hear thank you for choosing us we know you have a lot of choices in the airline community and they all fucking suck so thank you we got a great crew on board for you this evening Barbara's here oh you're gonna love yous on Barbara we even got pretty good weather conditions so I'm gonna do my best to get us in a few minutes early so that we can just sit on the runway for another half an hour so just sit back and relax enjoy yourself Oh behold uh if you don't turn off your phone oh I swear to God on the lives of Barbara's beautiful children this plane will fall from the sky but now they're just like oh never mind I guess I had just read too many goosebumps novels lately I scared myself I should know better if I get past ten o'clock I always tell myself I got a switch to wishbone you know [Applause] you

Maurice Vega

31 Responses

  1. He said "You just think the government's batting 1000 and telling us the whole truth?" That was hilarious to me! Got me rollin' πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

  2. Is this the same guy with the great set about gangbangers wearing scarves? hahaha he looks great! "Don't forget your scarf ni**a!".

  3. S T O P. R A P E I N G. B A B I E S
    I caught day one while in Dayton tn // hell the Manhattan project was a conspiracy //

  4. I didn’t recognize him for a good minute.
    I was like β€œhis voice sounds familiar, but…” πŸ˜„

  5. Holy shit, is this the same Ron Funches? The voice sounds right, the face looks right, but that's half of the Ron Funches I'm used to seeing. Good for him, that's some pretty drastic weight loss, he looks great.

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