RENO 911! – Lottery


Ah, that new Greek
tanning place? ‘Santorini tan’ is doing, uh, half-off
for law enforcement. You get half off
of any tanning or, uh… What they call
speed tanning. I have an announcement
to make! Suck my big black [bleep]! I won to [bleep] lotto! I won the [bleep] lotto! I am a [bleep]
millionaire! And I don’t have to
[bleep] sit here anymore and listen to your bull[bleep] you [bleep] crazy [bleep]! [bleep] you! [bleep] you! [bleep] you!
[bleep] you! Suck my [bleep] you mother[bleep]
[bleep]sucker! Argh! ‘Yes!’ [mouthing words] “03-06-14-18-46-51.” Okay, that was a misprint.
Okay. Everybody had that. Apparently they printed uh, thousands,
thousands of them. – ‘Everybody–‘
– Yeah, that ha… It happens. Put suck your [bleep]
on my to-do list for me. Uh, when I said that
out loud, it was, um– Oh, I’m so sorry
not everybody’s here. ‘Cause what I want to say
I wanted to say to all of you butt bloats
all at once… – ‘Alright?’
– ‘Um-hmm.’ You people have been
blisters on my taint and not just blisters,
but in-grown hairs. And yes, there’s cabernet
in this cup, alright? I won the lottery
last night. You know why?
‘Cause I willed it to happen. ‘Huh?’ I’m gonna go out
and snort coke off a black man’s behind. Uh, you didn’t hear
about this? “3-6-14-18-46-51”? – ‘Yes.’
– ‘Yeah.’ (Jim)
‘They printed 3000 of them.’ But, um, there is some
coke in evidence and Jones is
a pretty good sport. Nice coat.
Is it real? You don’t have to…
Don’t… Aw…yeah, baby! [laughs] Oh, suck it!
Suck it! ‘Guess who won
the lotto? Guess!’ [laughs]
[bleep] you, mother[bleep]. [bleep] you! For the record, you’re
the second person to come in and tell us to suck
your black [bleep]. (Jones)
‘Who else did?’ [clicks tongue]

Maurice Vega

100 Responses

  1. "For the record your the 2nd one to come in and say suck your black dick" o who was the first

    Trudy:πŸ™‹β€β™€οΈ…πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ

  2. The next time the news media makes announcement on the biggest lottery jackpot I liked to remind myself by watching this video.

  3. It's sad that Garcia was the only civilized & friendly one after he thought he won the lottery and his colleagues didn't care at all

    love Reno911!, best mockumentary show ever!!!!

  4. Martin, The Office, K&Peele (some stuff) and this episode … classic genius hilarity πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ’€

  5. i love this show i used to watch this all the time and laugh my ass off silly its so perfect cus its making fun of cops and everything about this show is and always will be perfect lmao

  6. Grandma here, way back in the 70's, a musician named Johnny Paycheck wrote a song called: Take this job & shove it! Great song, I decided that when I retired I would drive to work & play this out loud in the parking lot next to where the bosses offices were., however my 2 bosses got fired, so I didn't have to do that, But dam I was looking forward to it.

  7. Bruhh imagine if 1 more cop came in holding those 'cop microphones' …
    & before they could even say anything everyone showed them the misprint,
    then they just drop the mic & walk out! LMAO! 🏁

  8. I knew that Lottery bulshit was fake set up by a kangaroo court before it even started think about that.
    .
    Barney is a liar Thief

  9. If they had 3000 miss prints, and they all won, they now have 3000 winners
    The prize might not be as big anymore, but they all get something

  10. Why are they dressed like hookers? Do American police women! act in a way that they portray them like hookers?

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