Jimmy Checks In on the 2020 Democratic Presidential Candidates


-Well, you guys, the race for the Democratic presidential
nomination has barely started, and it’s already
getting crazy. Listen to this — former Democratic Senator
Mike Gravel is thinking about running
at 88 years old. 88. When they heard that,
Bernie Sanders and Joe Biden were like,
“Hey, who’s the new kid?” [ Laughter ]
“Yeah, punk.” [ Applause ] That’s right,
we could have a 76-year-old, a 77-year-old,
and an 88-year-old running for President. I can’t wait for the debates. I mean, who wouldn’t be pumped
about the possibility of listening to a three-hour
symphony of dry coughs? [ Laughter ] [ Coughing ]
[ Applause ] These guys shouldn’t be
running for President. They should be in a movie about
a group of friends taking their last trip
to Las Vegas. That’s —
that’s what I would watch. [ Applause ] But this is great news. Today, former President
Jimmy Carter became America’s longest-living President
at 94 years. [ Cheers and applause ] These are some strange times. Somehow Jimmy Carter
is the oldest living President, but today, he would still be the youngest Democrat
running for President. Isn’t that interesting
if you think about it? [ Coughing ] [ Applause ] Well, last night, Democratic
candidate John Hickenlooper did a town hall on CNN.
and at one point the moderator asked him about a story
in his book where he went to the movies
with his mom. Watch this. -You have a lot of interesting
stories in that book. One of them is about
the time you went to see an X-rated movie…
-Ah. [ Laughter ] -…with your mother. [ Audience “oh”s ] -I didn’t know
what an X movie was. We thought it was a little
naughty, but we didn’t think
it was that bad. So I took my mother
to see “Deep Throat.” [ Laughter ] -Then he said, “Anyway, that was
an awkward Mother’s Day. But besides that…”
[ Laughter and applause ] “Popcorn was good.” [ Applause ] But right now the front-runner
is still Joe Biden, even though he hasn’t
officially joined the race. [ Light laughter,
scattered cheers ] But the other night he did
tell a few people that he’s going to run.
-Oh. -Yeah. It’s like when you have
a female friend who starts wearing looser
clothes and stops drinking, and you still gotta act
surprised in three months when she’s like,
“I’m pregnant, you guys.” “Yeah, we knew.”
Now get this. I read that several
world leaders have actually reached out to Joe Biden
and urged him to run. But not every world leader
agrees on who to support in 2020. Check out
who they’re endorsing. First, Germany’s
Angela Merkel said, “I like Biden because of
his foreign policy experience.” Then Pope Francis said,
“I’m for Bernie Sanders, because we’ve been friends
since the ’80s — the 1880s.” [ Laughter ] Next up, Australia’s
Scott Morrison said, “I’m endorsing John Delaney,
because he’s just like me. And by that I mean, most
Americans never heard of us.” [ Laughter ] And finally,
Queen Elizabeth said, “Here’s two words to explain why
I support Beto O’Rourke — Yum Yum.”
[ Laughter and applause ] -Really?
-Yum Yum? -That’s her reasoning?
-Yeah, apparently. -Yum Yum. -Speaking of Beto O’Rourke,
he’s been able to campaign more than anyone, because
right now he doesn’t have a job. [ Light laughter ] So he’s actually been driving
around the country in a rented Dodge minivan. [ Light laughter ] Let me get this straight. One of the top
Democratic candidates is a 40-year-old unemployed guy
living out of a van? Perfect.
Sounds about right. What?
[ Applause ] But it’s true. Since he
no longer is a Congressman, Beto doesn’t have a day job. Unless you count his job
as the guy walking a dog in every Lands’ End catalog.
[ Laughter ] Hey, guys,
I’m excited about this. March Madness started today.
-Yeah! [ Cheers and applause ] -Some exciting matchups.
-Come on. -Some great matchups.
Baylor versus Syracuse. Montana versus Michigan. Donald Trump versus
Kellyanne Conway’s husband. I mean, it’s just been
madness. [ Applause ] That’s right,
Trump and Kellyanne’s husband are in a huge Twitter feud
right now. But Kellyanne says that
she’s not being asked to choose between her marriage
and her job. And Trump was like,
“Do what I do, choose neither.” [ Laughter and applause ] It’s crazy, though.
On Twitter today, Kellyanne’s husband, George,
called Trump a liar and “the worst kind of dumb.” When Trump saw George
posting insults on Twitter, he fired Kellyanne
and hired George. He’s like, “This guy has
everything I want. [ Applause ] “Where’s he been all my life?” Game recognize game.”
[ Laughter ]

Maurice Vega

100 Responses

  1. This comment section is a great object lesson in Yang's Internet Momentum.
    Which I would've dismissed in 2012, but Trump won 2016 based on Internet Momentum.

  2. One might hypothesize that Fallon isn't covering Yang because Yang already has better comedic delivery than him.

  3. I like Trump. For many reasons.
    But let's say I didn't and was on the fence. It's a binary choice of which party you're putting in power. In the last 18 months this is what I've seen from the Dems:
    Abolish ICE
    Open Borders
    Sanctuary Cities
    Taxing citizens to give social services to illegals
    Banning private health insurance
    Tax rates of 70, 80, 90%
    Green New Deal
    'Up until birth abortion'
    Born alive abortion bill
    Repeal 2A
    Russian Collusion
    Kavanugh debacle
    Reparations for descendants of slaves
    Taxpayer funded student loan forgiveness
    Taxpayer funded college for all (including illegals)
    Taxpayer funded rent subsidies
    Banning private schools & charter schools
    Tear down existing border walls/barriers
    Allowing non-citizens to vote in local elections
    Giving the vote to 16 year old's
    Allowing prisoners to vote from jail
    Democrats have a personal distaste for Trump that runs so deep, you truly believe he's worse than putting a party in power that supports this agenda? I really don't think so!!!

  4. #YangGang2020 donate your dollar to see Andrew Yang on the next round of debates. Every Dollar Counts, donated mine the other day !! Even a dollar helps him get close to the presidential slot

  5. Look at all the people in these comments that want FREE money that OTHER people WORKED for…..More Welfare voters.!

  6. You can make fun all you want but it's not funny being you assholes are always like that and serious about your insanity!

  7. TRUMP 2020 FOLKS….Proof me and millions of deplorables wrong, we will vote him back in no matter what bs you come up with.

  8. Lmfao came here for all the lazy fucks who want a free thousand a month that’ll never happen 😂🤦🏻‍♂️

  9. Who the fuck watches TV anyways fuck NBC cutting yang's mic for these old timers. THE NEW WAVE IS HERE LETS STAND YANG GANG!

  10. The Presidential debate was a joke those people are a bunch of socialists and they are anti-American and if that debate doesn't give Democrats a reason to walk away I don't know what would. Those people are all a disgrace to the United States of America!

  11. This guy is such a phony shit. Same one that played with Trump's hair. His laugh is never real…. Let's vote Jimmy Fallon out b/c he is an unfunny ass.

  12. KEEP SPREADING ANDREW YANG’S NAME UNTIL WE SEE HIM IN THE WHITE HOUSE THIS 2020!!!!!

    🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

  13. I'm so glad young white men, and straight men, finally have a voice in the Democrat party! I'm happy for you guys! When Yang loses, there's always room over here on the Republican side! Or you could just go back to keeping your mouth shut with the dems. Your choice. What ever 🤷‍♂️

  14. I don’t see how so many people peg Yang as super right or super left, when he’s the candidate with actual solutions. Hopefully ppl actually listen to his points/read the research/data driven policies, but America is even too lazy to read Mueller’s report.

  15. "I took my Mother to see Deepthroat, a X-rated movie. "😆😂🤣 Is this the only last Democratic candidate left to defeat Trump???? Joe Biden clearly had lost his mind when he quoted " every other kids just as good as white kids." Trump sure sniffed that weak lines coming from a thousands away while sitting on his chair in the oval office laughing his ass off. All of these candidates seem to be attacking each others rather than solving the main problems that's been going on for years. Democratic representatives are a joke!

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