Gomez, The Politician (Full Episode) | MGM

♪ The Addams family ♪(CROWD CHEERING ON TV)Oh, these conventions,
they’re so exciting! I remember
the first time I voted. 1906. Now, Mama, you know
there was no woman
suffrage in 1906. That didn’t stop me. You’re a real Addams. What’s all the noise? The conventions, Morticia,
the conventions. Oh, I do wish
they wouldn’t shout so. It keeps little
Pugsley’s octopus awake. The poor thing’s getting
rings under his tentacles. And my African strangler,
too. It just loses all desire
to strangle anyone. (VOLUME DECREASES) Oh, thank you, Thing. Dear Thing. It sets such
a good example for us. Show-off. Uncle Fester! Oh, I’m sorry. Now, you know I don’t like
petty jealousies. Where’s Gomez? He’s down in the playroom
hanging pictures. Oh, dear.
I do hope he isn’t hanging
the picture of Cousin Grisly facing the firing squad
down there. It looks so right in the hall. What are you doing, darling? Just getting the playroom
into the election spirit. Is he running again? No, but I thought
I’d bring out the pictures
of the men we Addamses have
supported in the past. Very appropriate. We really backed
Landon to the hilt. Yes. I must say
he was a very good loser. No better than Al Smith here. Or Wendell Willkie. Or Adlai. Uncle Blight masterminded
their campaigns. Old “Kiss-of-Death” Blight,
they called him. I never quite knew why. Grandpa Squint says
it’s an old family nickname. Grandpa knew his way around
the political arena, too. Abe Lincoln begged him
for his support. But there’s the man
who got it. Stephen Douglas. Darling, with all this
natural political talent, shouldn’t you be running
for public office? No, we Addamses prefer
to think of ourselves
as king-makers. The man I’ve decided to throw
my support to, in every way, is Leonard G. Quimby. Howdy, neighbor. How do you do? -Well, I see
you’ve picked your man.
-Yes, I have. Even heard you made
a substantial contribution
to his campaign. It’s only money. Good. George Bass is my name. Addams here. Is all this yours? Well, we go back
to the cemetery. We all do, sometime. It’s nice to see
citizens taking an interest
in the election, even if they have
backed the wrong man. Quimby? Why,
he’s our insurance man. Got us off the hook
when my son, Pugsley, accidentally blew up
the garage. But that’s neither
here nor there. (STUTTERING) You’re right. My man promises to
modernize the city, put in more streetlights,
drain the swamps. Drain the swamps? That and more. Well, maybe I have
been a little hasty. Do you have
a picture of your man? Do I have a picture of my… There he is,
the voice of progress. That’s Sam L. Hilliard. Why, he’s an old friend. I hope the L
stands for Lucifer. Uh, it does, it does. Good. He’s a fine man. Last time he was around here,
he went away with the shakes. I wondered why. Uh, overworked.
Then you’ll vote for him? We’ll do better than that. We’ll go out and
campaign for him. Wonderful! Wait till
I tell Mr. Hilliard. Here. Welcome, fellow campaigner. Sorry, Quimby. You can sprinkle later, Tish. Take a look at this. I could have sworn
he was bald. My dear. That’s another man. That’s our old friend
from the School Board,
Sam L. Hilliard. I’ve changed
horses in midstream. That’s the Addams way. Of course. The L stands for Lucifer. Very appropriate
for a politician. But, darling,
look at his platform. “Modernize the city,
put in more streetlights, “drain the swamps!”
Drain our lovely swamps? The man’s an extremist.Querida mia,
our swamps are safe. Mr. Hilliard won’t do
any of those terrible things. Don’t you realize
politicians always make
extravagant promises? Fortunately I can see through
their little games. Darling, you’re so clever. I’m sure Mr. Hilliard
will be very happy we’ve decided to
join his campaign. (EXHALES)
I can just see his face. No, no, no. I want no part of
that Addams family. But they’re good for
a nice campaign contribution. You get it. Look, the public
likes personal contact
with the candidate, you know, the old handshake,
the baby kissing. You’ve got to go over
and welcome them officially. I’d rather lose. You may, if you don’t
lay your hands on
some more campaign funds. Seriously? Seriously. It’s still not worth it. (GOMEZ READING) (GRUNTING) Community pride,
public service, civic duty. I wonder if we’re
doing the right thing. Don’t you want to save
our lovely swamps? Oh, that is a good cause. Besides, elections are fun. We should vote more often. How’s this one? (READING) That’s nice, Uncle Fester,
and very original, too. Yours is nice too, my dear. Thank you, darling. You left the R
out of “friend.” I thought it looked
better that way. By Jove, it does. I wonder why Mr. Hilliard
hasn’t called to thank us
for joining his campaign. Busy, no doubt.
That reminds me. I think I’ll send Lurch over
and invite Hilliard to
a little strategy meeting. Our candidate. Welcome. Ah, Mr. Hilliard,
how nice of you to join us. We’ve been up nights just
planning and planning for you. What are you planning? Show him the wonderful sign
you painted for him. “Everybody’s fiend?” I didn’t think you’d notice. Sit down, Mr. Hilliard,
I’ll have Lurch serve
some refreshments. (GONG RESOUNDING) You rang? Name it, Mr. Hilliard.
Coffee, tea? Brew? Oh, no, thank you. Won’t you sit down,
Mr. Hilliard? Mrs. Addams and I
would like to discuss some campaign strategy
with you. Look, I just remembered
a speaking engagement. Yes, thank you. Now then, what’s the key
to every successful
political campaign? Money. Exactly. Gomez is such
a brilliant strategist. She really knows me. Sure, sure.
Well, why don’t you just make out a check for,
say, uh, $5,000? A drop in the bucket. $10,000? $20,000 or nothing. $20,000? We insist. Well, if you put it that way. We do. But more important
than money is how
it’s going to be spent. We have some wonderful ideas. Uh, like that sign? Better. Well, why don’t you
just make out a check and leave
the campaigning to us. But these are
sure-fire strategies. Number one:
We wanna get our butler,
Lurch, on television. We feel he’ll appeal
to the women’s vote. Camera moves in.
It’s a close-up of Lurch. (GONG RESOUNDING) Lurch expresses himself
on the candidacy of
Sam L. Hilliard. (GROANING) Animal magnetism.
You can’t top that. (GROANING) Tell you what?
Uh, make it $10,000. Our children can appeal
to the junior voters. Junior voters?
Kids don’t vote. By George, you’re right. Uh, how about $5,000? Gomez, darling,
we’ll still have to let the children
go on television. They’ll be so disappointed. Besides, they wrote
such brilliant speeches. $2,500. You’ll forget all about money
when you hear the song that Uncle Fester
wrote for you. A campaign song. $1,000. Uncle Fester! Uncle Fester,
sing your campaign song
for Mr. Hilliard. Ah, this will kill you. Oh, no. (GONG CLANGING) You… To the harpsichord, Lurch,
we’re gonna do the song. It’s the kind of song
that gets you right here. (GROANS) $500. (SCRAPING) (PLAYING HARPSICHORD) ♪ Don’t be a hog
help clean up the bog ♪ Vote for Sam L. Hilliard ♪ He’ll stick to the issue
he may even kiss you ♪ So vote for Sam L. Hilliard ♪ Honest and fearless
Sam L. is peerless ♪ He’s a man for
always to come ♪ So don’t be a goat
and just cast your vote ♪ For the pride of
our city’s swamp ♪ Well, what do you think? I think we’ve got more money
than we need. Uncle Fester can do the song
with special effects, too.
He lights up. Lights up? (BUZZING) Don’t worry
about the flickering. We’ll have him recharged. (RATTLING) I better go. Oh, you haven’t
seen anything yet. -Please, I-I-I’ll give you
a little money.
-Oh, nonsense. -I’m really unworthy
of your support.
-Twaddle. I’m a grafter. You mean all your
campaign promises
are phony? As a $3 bill. I got a lot of $3 bills. I’m not going to do anything
about the streetlights. Aha. The streets stay
dark and gloomy. Wonderful. And the bogs and marshes,
I’m gonna make them
even boggier. Capital! I knew you’d appreciate
my leveling with you. We do! We do, Mr. Hilliard. Oh, I almost forgot
the most important thing.
Our party mascot! We don’t need a party mascot. Oh, yes, we do. The Democrats
have their donkey, the Republicans
have their elephant. Guess what we have? I couldn’t begin to. We have Kitty cat. Kitty. Here, Kitty,
Kitty, Kitty, Kitty. (GROWLING) (YELLING) (YELPING) Don’t frighten the poor dear. I’ll send you
a letter of apology
first thing in the morning. Forgot your hat. Keep it! Well, it looks like
we backed the right man. No question about it. I’m just sorry
about one thing. What’s that, dear? I forgot to register. “In the course
of human events, “there are many moments
that try men’s souls. “There are moments
of crisis, of tragedy,
turmoil, “doubt.
There are even moments…” (GROWLING) (SNORING) I’ve put Kitty to sleep. What does it matter, darling? He doesn’t vote, anyway. No, no, it’s my speech. Let’s go through it.
Start at the beginning. “My friends…” Hold it.
That’ll never go, dear. Get right to the issues. You’re right. “One of the major issues
of the day is peace.” Well, that’s true, dear. But everybody wants peace. Even Mr. Quimby. You’re right. “And now,
to the matter of taxes. “Shall we have high taxes?
Or shall we have low taxes?” Isn’t that
a dangerous position? You’re right. “Which brings us to
the question of education…” Nope, much too controversial. You’re right. “Also the question
of social welfare?” “Now we come to the biggest, “the most burning
issue of the day, “the question of…” You make that out? “Question of swamps.” Oh, yes. “As to the matter
of swamps…” Darling, the less said
about that the better. Very clever,querida,
very clever. “I thank you.” Well… I know what
you’re going to say. After such an enlightening
and courageous speech, I shouldn’t thank them,
they should thank me. I agree completely. (SNORING) Now, you all know
what you’re supposed to do? Lurch, you hit
the swanky Oak Knolls section. Roger. Mama? Oh, I get off in
the business district. You parade up and down
the street with your placard
and you blow your bugle. Uncle Fester,
is your assignment clear? I sing, light up
and pass out $3 bills. Remember,
the secret word is “dignity.” All right, Lurch, blast off. (BLOWING HORN) (ENGINE BACKFIRING) Don’t they make
a fine-looking group? Mr. Hilliard is as
good as elected. Oak Knolls is in the bag, huh? Great, keep in touch. Well, everything
looks good so far. Polls say you’re a shoo-in. I wouldn’t be
if I hadn’t gotten rid of
that Addams family. Oh, please,
let’s not mention them again. You’re right. -Now hop on down to the polls
and keep an eye on things.
-Right. If anything goes wrong,
call me. Right. Boss? Bass.
You better get over here
to the Fourth Ward. The Addamses are loose.ANNOUNCER:
As I told you before,
ladies and gentlemen,
we’re speaking to
you from the busy intersection
of Broadway and Main.
Well, I’ve seen
election campaigns,
but this one beats them all.
Looks like we’ve done it.Our on-the-spot
broadcast today features…
Wait a minute.
There’s candidate
Sam Hilliard,
and he’s chasing
a campaign wor
down the street with a stick!Isn’t that Uncle Fester? Uncle… Yes, he just lit up!I better return you
to our studios KBHL.
I’m beginning to see things.Thank you, Mel,
and there you see…
Why would Mr. Hilliard chase
Uncle Fester with a stick? Nonsense, dear.
Didn’t you hear the reporter admit
he was seeing things? Oh, of course. Hilliard will probably be
along any minute to
express his gratitude. Boss, you can’t go in there.
It’s, it’s suicide. That’s my mood exactly. But… I’ve got to get those Addamses
off the street or I’m sunk. Well, I’m not going in. That’s the first
intelligent thing you’ve said in
the entire campaign. Get down to the polls
and see what’s going on. Right. Bass. Boss? Call my mother and tell her
not to wait up for me. Good idea. (FOGHORN SOUNDING) -Hilliard,
we’ve been expecting you.
-I should think so. I’ll take your hat. No, no, no,
I’m holding on to it
this time. Come on in. Mrs. Addams… Oh, please don’t say it. I will, too, say it! Mr. Addams and I find
expressions of gratitude
so embarrassing. Expressions of gratitude? Your election
will be our reward. I’m going to turn
this whole thing over
to a lawyer. A lawyer? Yes. My card. Gomez is responsible
for putting more criminals
behind bars than any other man
in the United States. You, a prosecuting attorney? Attorney for the defense. Well, I don’t need you
for my lawyer and I don’t need you
for my campaign manager. You see,
our man’s a politician
of the old school. Not only forgets
his campaign promises,
he forgets his campaigners. Ah, I knew we backed
the right horse. (TELEPHONE RINGING) Excuse me. Thank you, Thing.
Addams here. Oh, yes, he’s here too. It’s for you.
Probably your opponent,
Quimby, conceding the election. (SCREAMING) Only a case of
election day jitters. I hope so. Why don’t you answer it? You answer it. Of course, old boy. Addams here.
I’ll take the message. Oh, hello, Bass! Really? Some of
the first returns are in. Oak Knolls, eh? Uh-huh. Good. I see.
Good work, Bass. It’s a landslide. For Hilliard? For Quimby. 76 to nothing. I knew it, I knew it. Oh, those early returns. Of course,
the Oak Knolls section,
upper class snobs, always contrary
to the main trend. (TELEPHONE RINGING) I’ll get it. Thank you, Thing. Darling,
you look a little tired. Why don’t you just relax? Hello.
This is Mrs. Addams speaking. Yes, he’s here. It’s for you again. I’m not going
near that thing. I’ll take the message. Oh hello, Mr. Bass. Really? It’s the 9th Precinct. Oh, well, that’s much better. Hilliard 6, Quimby 110. See?
You’re beginning to gain. I’m ruined. Ruined! Oh, come now, Mr. Hilliard,
that’s the 9th Precinct. Nothing but
lower class people. That’s not where
your strength is. (TELEPHONE RINGING) If that’s for me,
I don’t wanna
talk to anybody. Addams here.
Bass, what’s the word? Come, now, Bass,
you can think of another word. I see. Well, the middle class section
is the most important. Fine. All right, let me have it. If I were you,
I’d demand a recount. Oh, no. Hilliard 5, Quimby 204. Not bad, really.
You only lost one vote. I’m sure there’s
been some fraud. Oh, yes, Bass admits it. Too bad they caught him. (TELEPHONE RINGING) I’ll get it. Hello, Mrs. Addams speaking. Oh, yes, Mr. Quimby. Mr. Hilliard’s here.
I’m afraid he can’t
come to the phone right now. What? Mr. Quimby,
I’m sure you’re mistaken. Electronic computers
do not vote. Mr. Quimby
is claiming victory. Wonderful. What’s wonderful about it? Can’t you see, old man? The trap. The Achilles’ heel. The Waterloo of
every politician. Overconfidence. (GROANING) Oh, the poor dear. The sweet smell of success
must have been
too much for him. I’m so glad you joined
the Zen-Yogi society, darling. Right,querida.After a strenuous campaign,
at least you can relax. Every man should learn
to relax this way. It’s a wonderful gift. Oh, it says Mr. Hilliard
is quitting politics. Really? Must be his health. Must be. Because it says he’s thinking
of leaving town, too. As a matter of fact,
it says he’s thinking
of leaving the country. Poor man,
I was so sure he’d win. I guess we got into
the campaign too late. Gomez, I’m afraid we failed. Not according to Quimby. He says if it wasn’t for us,
he wouldn’t have won. What a generous thing to say. (TELEPHONE RINGING) Why, thank you, Thing. Maybe we should
have gotten Thing
into the campaign. No, I guess not. Hello?
This is Mrs. Addams speaking. Why, hello, Mr. Hilliard. Really? Isn’t that nice. Well, thank you. Goodbye. That was that nice
Mr. Hilliard. He says he’s glad he lost. The Mayor appointed him
head of the School Board. It’s a much better position. In that case,
I’m proud to have served. Alley-oop! Oop! Where are you going, darling? To the playroom. To add Mr. Hilliard
to our illustrious collection.

Maurice Vega

100 Responses

  1. Morticia: Why would Mister Hilliard chase Uncle Fester with a stick!?

    Gomez: Nonsense, dear, didn't you hear the reporter admit he was seeing things?

    Morticia: …Oh, of course.

    This has to be my favorite exchange in the episode.

  2. Gomez and the passerby discuss draining the swamps. Now I see where Trump got his presidential rally cry! πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ

  3. Ahhhhhh, yes the original ADDAM'S FAMILY in portrayal.
    How refreshing.
    "I sing, light up and pass out $3.00 bills."

  4. 5:18 "Drain our lovely swamps? The man's an extremist". Truer words have never been spoken. Clearly, that man was Donald Trump.

  5. The bit where Gomez and Morticia are skimming his speech is probably my favorite in the show's history. It's so good.

  6. MGM could yall consider buying out the rights to Lucha Underground from The El Rey Network? And do Lucha Underground Reboot or even A Spinoff or A Movie? Do A Spinoff show of Lucha Underground about the 7 Aztec Lucha Tribes. Make this A prequel but bring in Lucha Underground characters like Aero Star,Mil Muetes and Catrina,Dario Cueto And Pentagon And Fenix And Dragon Azteca And Dragon Azteca Jr. And Black Lotus. This doesn't have to be like what season 4 of LU was. This is A prequel with A cheaper budget about the 7 Aztec Tribes of Lucha Underground MGM make this happen.

  7. The introductory bit with the first campaigner was driving me nuts. I knew the name 'Hilliard', but I couldn't remember where. Then when Gomez mentioned the school board, it clicked. The truant officer. That is a fantastic piece of continuity from a show that doesn't use it much

  8. Every single person in this entire episode is more qualified to hold the Office of President of the United States than the guy who is currently in office now.

  9. I had to do a double take on the credits at the beginning when the writer Harry Winkler was displayed… I'm thinking "no way"… a nine year kid wrote this? Could be Henry's father. I mean, he had to have gotten his talent somewhere. <> Can anyone make out the brand of television they are watching in the beginning? Usually when a brand is displayed, it is a endorsement but I never heard of that brand and I am somewhat familiar with early television companies. <> Drain the swamp… seems I heard that phrase recently but where… but, hmmmm, where? [thinks] <> 5:37 Uh, Gomez, something is on fire.

  10. Gomez as a prosecution lawyer… I can only imagine how the accused would be begging to be put into prison just to end the questioning. But how many defence lawyers went the same way or ended in asylum?

  11. 3:48 "My man promises to modernize the city, put in more street lights, drain the swamps"
    I'll be very happy if we can drain the swamp that's been engulfing the country for the past few decades, lol.
    7:17 "I think I'll send Lurch over and invite Hilliard to a little strategy meeting."
    7:23 Lurch is most efficient!
    8:19 Thing! πŸ˜‚
    8:33 "Now then, what's the key to every successful political campaign?"
    10:54 Fester's song πŸ˜‚
    12:30 We have Kitty cat 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

  12. I love how the Addams Family was the decisive factor in all the great presidential elections in our history…against whomever they were campaigning for. XD

  13. Ok say what you want but I feel so bad for mr Hilliard, it’s so frustrating to see him lose while the Addams are being blissfully unaware of the situation

  14. I love how Gomez hangs up posters of all the losers. I could just see him hanging up a poster of Hillary Clinton and saying something like, β€œIt’s about time we had a woman loser.”

  15. How do meet you after work together on your new movie The Adme's movie keep Rick and god bless make me smile πŸ˜ŠπŸ˜‚β€οΈ

  16. No matter what the shows were about it was always funny 🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣❀❀❀❀

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