Dennis Miller Won’t Read Your DMs – Lights Out with David Spade


All right,
it’s time for Sports Out– -Lights Out Sports Update.
-MILLER: What is this? MAN: ♪ Lights Out Sports ♪
Update. Yeah. Dumb. I hired that BO guy. Uh, Jaguars’ quarterback
Jalen Ramsey revealed that in college,
to psyche out his opponents, he would slide
into their girlfriends’ DMs. Wow. Full disclosure, I did do this
to James Corden one time. It was not in college,
it was yesterday. Dennis, you know what DMs are,
direct message. DM’s my initial.
I don’t know what it means as far as the, uh… -It just means he sent
messages… -Surprised to hear he had slid into me. (laughter) (cheers and applause) It’s the very definition
of the tuck rule. I heard his wiener was so big that they went over
the data limit on the phone. That’s a rumor; I have no idea
if it’s true. But he got roll over inches… -MILLER: And swiped his wiener?
-Yeah. -I’m cleaning it up all
of a sudden. -We’re on cable. -You can say dick, can’t you?
-I know, but… I’m trying to clean up
’cause you’re here, -and I know you…
-MILLER: What’s with the, What’s with the flock
of seagulls pants? What is that fabric on there? Oh, no.
Come on, Dennis. This whole show is, like,
built on tight-pegged, alternative-fabric pants and little fabulous footwear. I feel like I’m in a pop-up at a Skechers store
or something. -That’s– Come on, Dave.
-It’s all… This is genuine pleather,
I’ll have you know. KOY: I love the fact
that he just said you got your pants
at Skechers. (laughter) -Do they make…?
-Only Dennis could do that. Isn’t Skechers a pants store? -No, it’s not.
-Yeah, it’s no use. Skechers is not a pants store. SPADE: I know, when I,
when I walked… I tell you, I’ve reached that… It’s a place where you get
free bubblegum. That’s where I send my son. I’ve reached the point in life
with the culture that I am thankfully
out of the loop. (laughter) I’m trying to get there, Dennis. I need to be there. You don’t need to know
where I got my tight pants. I don’t know much about
social media or DM-ing. To me, when I look at Twitter,
I think “Never have lives less lived
been more chronicled.” -Uh…
-SPADE: Yeah. I dig that. With Jalen, a lot of people
might not like what he was doing,
but I kind of like it, because you got
to compete sometimes and sometimes you got to get
under people’s skin. I actually was blessed,
when I was competing, I won my wife over a bet, and she still don’t know that. But she know it now. Yeah, she’ll find out tonight. I’m gonna be in some trouble. Who do you think is more fine,
A-Rod or Jalen. -Which is your type here.
-SPADE: Yeah. It got– You know what?
It got to be A-Rod. I love just…
(rolls tongue) Just that part. Forget A-Rod,
I’m trying to hit Jen, man. KOY:
Yeah. Jen, holler at me, baby. SPADE:
Holler at her, babe. Holler at me.

Maurice Vega

70 Responses

  1. Damn, I was starting to like David's new show. Until he brought on the right-wing hack. Mr. "I supported Bill O'Reilly before and after he was fired from Fox News for sexual harassment"

  2. Love Dennis Miller. I used to watch his show and had the biggest crush on him when I was a teen. The word "torcaino" has been stuck in mind ever since he mistakenly mixed the words tornado and hurricane.

  3. David–you're "avoiding" politics, but this format of having you interface with 3 comic pundits is so tedious. You might as well be doing The Five.

  4. I love this… I’m sure this was a common thing on snl back in the day.. Dennis just ripping up spade, Chris, Rock, and Sandler .

  5. I am here to say, for the survival of this wonderful show, Fuck Dennis Miller now and forever. For the love of Mike Pence’s god interpretation, leave that asshole Miller in the dumpster you found him in.

  6. It makes my heart happy every time Dennis Miller and David Spade are on screen together, thank you for that! To me these two will forever be Legends that's not an understatement to me and it shouldn't be too a hell of a lot more people.

  7. Spade's wit and timing is unparalleled. Miller is hilarious, and great with Spade, but his humor is lost on people of low intellect.

  8. Please for the love of God dont let that stupid female chick do stand up on the show again . THAT WAS BRUTAL !! you should promote white straight men because they get NO FCKN AIR TIME since hollywood and Libs hate us so much . im surprised they even gave Spade a show but the network lost half their audience since all the Trump bashing . FCK COMEDY CENTRAL !! IT'S OK TO BE WHITE , GUYS !! YOUTUBE IS MY NEW HOLLYWOOD WITHOUT ALL THE WHITE BASHING RACISM & PEDOS !! CANCEL CABLE AND WATCH TV AND MOVIES ONLINE COMMERCIAL FREE ON SOLARMOVIE/ PUTLOCKER …… TOGETHER WE CAN BANKRUPT H.W. JUST LIKE WE DID TO THE CROOKED MUSIC INDUSTRY !!

  9. ❤ Dennis Miller! Droppin' Truths!
    "Never have lives less lived, been more chronicled." Re: social media, twitter

  10. I haven't seen Dennis in ages. It's good to see that his humor is still dark and sardonic as always. Loved him when he was on SNL!

  11. I love this show and David but it seems everyones personalities come together too strong, too many people.seems very off topic as well I don’t even think they covered the segment

  12. Looks like Spade's show was hit with the mandatory diversity quota. I don't say that to be mean, but you should have guests on who have some comedic chemistry.

  13. Wow! Dennis Miller still doesn't know any good jokes. He's actually even more irrelevant than ever. One of the worst comedians I've seen.

  14. Spade and Miller are two of the few intelligent comedians left now a days. So many idiot hacks out there ……(cough)Amy Schumer….(cough)(cough)…….

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