Corey Lewandowski’s Congressional Testimony


-Let’s get to the news. According to fact checkers,
President Trump made at least 26
false statements last night during his rally
in New Mexico. And that was just during
the sound check. “Check, one, two,
check, one, two. I invented Jet Skis.
Check, one, two.” During former Trump campaign
manager Corey Lewandowski’s appearance before
Congress today, one representative
called Lewandowski “some kind of Forrest Gump
relating to corruption” due to his appearance
in numerous scandals. Hey, if the haircut fits. [ Laughter ] President Trump watched
his former campaign manager Corey Lewandowski’s
Congressional testimony today from aboard Air Force One. And when you’re trying to
prove you’re not a criminal, it doesn’t help that your boss is watching
from the getaway car. “Don’t land yet.
I want to see how this goes.” [ Laughter ] During an event
in South Carolina yesterday, Republican presidential
challenger Mark Sanford held a mock debate against a cardboard cutout
of President Trump. You could tell the cutout
wasn’t the real Trump because it made
some good points. [ Laughter ] According… [ Cheers and applause ] According to a new study, couples who have been married
longer have fewer arguments. Mainly because
they’ve stopped talking. [ Laughter ] Following her rally
in New York last night, Senator Elizabeth Warren
spent four hours taking selfies with supporters. Meanwhile, Bernie took one
selfie that lasted four hours because the camera was
accidentally set to video. [ Laughter ] [ Applause ] And… finally, Australian news outlets
are reporting that a fire
at a genetics laboratory caused a massive explosion of
cryogenically frozen bull semen. Also causing a massive explosion
of bull semen? This little lady.
[ Laughter ]

Maurice Vega

100 Responses

  1. Lets hear it for the first responders that show up everyday knowing today might be the day that they get blasted with a giant explosion of bull semen, with no time for a shower 🧼

    I’m sorta hoping some lady firefighter gives birth to a Minotaur now

  2. Woww just woww .. this show is just unwatchable .. I watched the Lewandowski hearing and he destroyed the democrats .. but this liberal clown is trying to portray it otherwise

  3. Seth meyers ..making fun of Trump every single night every single joke . how original . hes the only one .. Great comedy .. Great writing ..

  4. Well that's officially the worst superhero origin ever. "He was just an ordinary scientist until he got caught in an explosion of cryogenically frozen bull semen. Now he is… Steerile!"

  5. Flying bull semen is much better than our President who explodes with BULL$HIT from ever form of communication he knows how to use! TWITTER, television, press conferences, physical assault on
    PU$$IES!

  6. I hope the Democrats run their entire campaign against cardboard cutout Trump. Then they might actually have a chance of winning.
    P.S. – I"m a liberal. Just felt the need to make that clear.

  7. where's all that Trump Russian Collusion the dems cried about for years..there wasn't any but there was plenty of Dem Russian Collusion
    that should be the first clue to the Trump haters..that they have been made fools of by those they support..lol

  8. The ABC article is pretty good 😂😂😂

    "It's going to be a huge blow, especially for our farmers"
    https://www.abc.net.au/news/2019-09-17/cattle-semen-destroyed-in-overnight-yarram-fire/11519492

  9. If I may, please stop the age-shaming on Bernie Sanders. As an European, I stand that he would be the best next president of the United States. I hope I'm wrong, but these kind of jokes may cost the USA and the rest of the world a heavy price for the future.

  10. Trump will pay dearly for this abysmal 4-year Presidency. Several economic pundits think some of the Trump Businesses will likely tank after 2020 with a tarnished image of failed leadership.

  11. Nah Steph, this one flopped worse than CB's thingo after he 'he sexually assaulted a woman' in my view! Why don't you do another AOC one like you did with Cecily Strong! She nailed AOC! loved it! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGsQES_OdrQ

  12. Did you just make an old person joke about Sanders? Because I understand you guys seem to support Warren yet she's 70 years old herself.

  13. Firstly,should stick to comedy….Lewandowski destroyed them,it was hilarious…..Meyers is too much of a left wing dick suck to be capable of covering politics properly,losers gonna lose….Good luck in 2024,you gonna need it.

  14. Trump bad. Everyone else good. Imagine if any of these guys had balls like Dave Chapelle…the difference between a legend and just some guy…

  15. Do you fucking retards still think false jokes about our President Trump is funny? Well, guess what, 4 more years motherfuckers, 4 more years 🖕

  16. Corey owned those stupid bastards all day! So funny! If Meyers actually watched the fake crap by Nadler, he would have had some decent material to work with for the show.

  17. I am Canadian and I have experience in courtrooms. I was watching his "testimony" as I was working and I litteraly screamed at the TV wondering if anyone was gonna call him out for contempt. Still puzzled. WTF is your senate about?? That was an insult to every democracy and justice system EVER !!! WTF!!!

  18. Let me say this folks: we run Biden, Trump will get 8 years. The same liberals that voted for Trump because the DNC forced Hillary will swing again. They would rather burn it down than watch the neocon DNC sail along as if nothing has happened.

    Anyone else would crush Trump. Biden can't do it.

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