Clinton – Epstein Suicide Conspiracy – Weekend News in Review

[inaudible]. Oh, what a world of
news and we find ourselves in today. We got Jeffrey Epstein’s untimely death. I don’t want to get into
those conspiracy theories. I just want to say that Clinton’s are
fine upstanding people and always pillars of our community. Other news that’s out there that people
feel the need to report on that isn’t really so important because as such
we have Antonio Brown with the Oakland Raiders refusing to wear a new helmet, threatening to quit playing football
if he’s forced to wear this new helmet. He’s worn the same helmet for 10 years
and he can’t seem to fathom why they won’t approve it for safety reasons. We have a gentleman by a
name that I can’t pronounce, nor that I care about win a gold medal
in fencing and took his place on the podium to take a knee in protest. I don’t know what 10 people
may have seen that, but by God, this guy’s getting more fame from this
story than he ever will his entire life boo to you use, sir. Tragic News falls upon us today with
the news that Liam Hemsworth and Miley Cyrus are split up after a tumultuous
eight year on a on and off again relationship after eight short months
of marriage, they’ve called it splits. Reasons are up in the air. Rumors have it is because she desired
to have an open style marriage, which I’m pretty sure he knew about
going into this relationship in general, the Puerto Rican bowling team won the
gold medal at the Pan American games. That’s almost as good as the United
States winning the medal of them being a territory and all, but wait, there’s more. The United States wins the gold medal
in bowling at the Pan American games because one of the *EXPLETIVE* on the
bowling team from Puerto Rico *EXPLETIVE* hot for p e d s Now I know
you’re saying, well, Zach, it was just a masking agent. Yeah. It’s a masking agent that can be
used to hide the use of other PEDS. Do yourselves a favor.
Actually, you know what? You’re not going to have to check out
that guy’s picture right over here and tell me what performance enhancing drugs
that lard ass has ever put into his body. So the Brazilian president has come up
with a way for us to save the planet and it’s for human beings to
poop once every other day. We reached out to AOCs office for
comment. We eagerly wait that response. Lebron James slated to star and space jam
2 a movie that I know my generation is looking forward to very,
very much. However, he’s going to have a body double for
the basketball scenes. Sheldon Bailey, Nickelodeon actor is gonna be his body. Double Michael Jordan didn’t use a
body double in space jam one goat, my ass. Prince Harry seems to be a little
perturbed with his wife Megan Merkel. After the couple start receiving fewer
and fewer invites to dinner parties, this appears to be because of Megan’s
constant PDAs or public displays of affection. I find this odd coming from a
country that basically invented incest. Hey guys thanks again for watching. Be
sure you click that subscribe button. More importantly, hit that notification bell so you don’t
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Maurice Vega

20 Responses

  1. Zach, you're my new hero.

    Oh, wait… Donald Trump is already my hero
    ???? TRUMP 2020 ????

    But, you're coming in a close second!!
    ?? TRUMP/ZACH 2020 ??

  2. Arrgghhh! No you didn't go there! Miley Cyrus! Plz no more. Lol. P. S. Loving our newest T-shirt ? Nine Line!

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