Charlie Murphy’s True Hollywood Stories: Rick James & Prince – Chappelle’s Show

I can recall another one like that. I think it was in ’85, when all that androgyny s**t was going on. What was wild was that the guy who looked the most like a bitch
was getting all the women. Even I had Jheri curls coming out and I had my s**t slicked
to the side and all that. If you wearing baggy s**t
now and you acting hard, if you from L.A., you
motherf**kers was wearing some strange s**t. We in the club, we getting
our groove on, shaking it up, and Prince came in. That’s when “Purple Rain” came out, and Prince was the s**t. You know what I’m sayin’? Prince had on like a – it was
like a Zorro-type outfit. He had the ruffles that come down the front, he had
the big perm fluffed out and all that.
And this mustache that was drawn on his face. It looked like something that a figure skater would wear. You know what I’m saying? And he was with his whole crew, and he had this other cat named Micki Free. And Micki Free was, like, the new cat in Shalamar, that, when he joined the group, I heard mad cats were like, “Yo, Shalamar got a new girl in there, man. That bitch fine like a motherf**ker.” They was talking about Micki Free. OK? Micki Free is not a girl. Alright? They came over where we was at, Prince talks to my brother. Hello, Eddie Murphy. Prince! What’s up? I’m a big fan of your comedies. Ooh, that’s hot, Prince. Would you like to come to my house and listen to some music? Ooh, that’s cool. Fruity, get the car. Assemble your crew. I’ll be outside. We went up there. We get there, he puts the
tracks on, tracks was slammin’. You know what I mean? and we listening to the
music and everything. We groovin’ at the crib. They got girls over there. Yeah, nice environment. It was tight. This bores me. Is anyone up for a game of basketball? [Laughs] How about you and your friends versus me and the Revolution? [Laughs] So I was like, this n****
must be joking, man. I mean, I don’t know where he’s
going with this s**t, but he was dead serious. He had his help or whatever go and get some, like, shorts and sneakers
and gave ’em to us. And I’m laughing. I’m like, this is gonna be some funny-ass s**t. So they come out, right? And I look at them. And they still got on the same s**t they was wearing at the club. [Laughing]
It was wild. I was like, I know they
ain’t thinking about playing ball in that, but they were. I said, “Hey, you know what? Yo, we gonna call this the
shirts against the blouses.” [Laughing] And when I said that, this look came on his face. -Uh-uh.
-He ice grilled me!
-Uh-uh. And I’m looking back at
him, thinking to myself, you know, what are you angry about? I mean, you know where you got that shirt from, and it damn sure wasn’t
the men’s department. I mean, I kind of learned something that day. Never judge a book by its cover. This cat could ball, man. Play ball. He was
crossing cats like Iverson. Crossed me out! Made my knees stand together. He was gettin’ rebounds
like Charles Barkley, snatchin’ it down. Shoot the J. Shoot it! Let’s run a play. Computer blue. Darling picky. They was kind of
settin’ these fruity picks, man. You know what I’m sayin’? Like, you be trying to check Prince, and then you got this cat standing behind you, and he’s getting close to you, and his hands is out like this. You don’t really wanna be bent over in front of a cat like that. You know what I’m saying? Owww!
Prince was incredible! Prince, you got a towel, man? It’s kind of hot out here, man. Why don’t you purify yourself in the waters of Lake Minnetonka? Good! In your face, Charlie Murphy. Good! Good hustle. Yo, man, I’m not on your team. Uhhnn… Uhhnn… Uhhnn…
Uhhnn… Uhhnn… Uhhnn… I mean, it wasn’t
even like it was close. It was a landslide victory. Game. Blouses. I was there! I seen it! You don’t believe me? You think I’m making it up? You think I’m trying to, uh, you know, enhance the story because I’m involved and try to give myself
an excuse for losing ’cause I’m telling you
a story about Prince? I dare you to challenge Prince to a game of ball one-on-one. Challenge him! Aight? And then make sure your people
is there to see the game! ’Cause you might get embarrassed. Trust me. Alright. He beat you in basketball,
and then what happened? After it was all over, he took us in the house
and served us pancakes. Pancakes. I gotta admit, though – it was a good game. I wish I could say the same for you and your crew of flunkies. Do you guys want some grapes? I mean, you know, there’s
some great storytellers in the world that we live in today, man. Bitches. Who the f**k can make up that s**t? We gonna hang out with Rick James tonight.
You know what I’m sayin’? Here he comes out the
room, and I look at him, and I’m not bulls**tting, man, I seen, like – like a orange… His
aura or whatever? I seen it. It was orange. ♪ Give it to me baby ♪ We started kicking it, and
he was mad n*****ish, man, which was, you know, right up my alley. I’m one of the baddest
motherf**kers of all time. One of the best singers, and one of the best-lookin’
motherf**kers you’ve ever seen. Hold my drink, bitch. He’d walked up to any chick and lick the whole
side of their face, man. I’m Rick James, bitch. Enjoy yourself. [Laughs] We got closer, started hanging out. My brother didn’t do any of this s**t. So at night, when Eddie would break out, we would all be getting crazy and wild. If I was hanging with Rick, he had this thing with me where he used to always, like, f**k with me, man. I don’t know what started it. Charlie, he was hanging out with the big dogs, you know? Charlie didn’t know. He was doing crazy things, and
I had to straighten him out. Sometimes, I had to go upside his head. Things, like, escalated to the point where, you know, my man got too familiar, and I ended up having to whoop his ass, man. You know? Because he would step across
the line…habitually. He’s a habitual line-stepper. First time, you know, I had to end up whooping his ass, uh…we went to Studio 54. We walking up into the VIP section, and, um… I’m looking around and
seeing who was there, and looking at the girls and everything, and all of
a sudden, I heard someone go. Charlie Murphy! That was cold-blooded! [Laughs] He had this ring on to commemorate this song he had put out called “Unity.” And this was imprinted in
that black head of his for at least a week. Unityyy! Eddie and
everybody else thought that that was the funniest s**t. So that threw me in a weird
space, ’cause I’m like, yeah, this is Rick James. He’s a star. I’m Rick James, bitch! This is a celebration, bitch!
[Laughs] Maybe I’m overreacting. I actually went there. Like, maybe I shouldn’t do nothin’. But my ghetto side was going, “Yo, stomp this motherf**ker out right here. What the f**k is wrong with him?” I drunk some wine, and I’m just getting started, bitches! [Laughs] He totally just wrote me off, like I’m that n**** to steal on.
You know what I’m sayin’? But what, he gonna smack me back? I’m Rick James. He’s Charlie Murphy. I waited, ’cause I knew
what hotel he was stayin’ in. Eddie and them went home. I said, I’ll be right back. I shot over to the hotel,
went up to his room, knocked on the door. So then he comes in there, and I said, “Look, bitch, I’m Rick James.
Smacked him!” [Laughs] Oh! Charlie Murphy! He had his hand cocked
to throw another right hand. When he was comin’ for it, I just came. Bow! Caught him with the front. He’ll tell it like he gave me some kind of Bruce Lee cross kick or somethin’. I kicked the s**t out of him, man. [Screams] The wind was knocked out of him. And then he screams out, “Security!” The one in the front,
he had crooked eyes. His one eye was lookin’ at me, and the other one was lookin’ at Rick. Rick had edged over by the window. Now, Darkness, the tables are turned. Do with him whatever you’d like. You motherf**kers take one more step, I’m kicking this n**** out
the motherf**kin’ window. Bobby, freeze! You know you was wrong for
what you did to me earlier. Look what you did to my face! I’m sorry, Charlie Murphy. It was an accident. I was having too much fun. I offer you a truce: the stickiest of the icky. You wanna smoke with
the old boy Rick James? Yo, man, my forehead is bumpin’, man. Now that you mention it, I think I’m bleedin’ inside my chest. But I got the medicine. Bitch, come over here and
have sex with Charlie Murphy! I’m Rick James, bitch. [Clapping] That was how that
particular incident ended, but it wasn’t the last time
I had to whoop his ass…
whoop his ass… whoop his ass… Don’t you think Charlie’s a little old to be takin’ karate? He probably taking it
with the little kids. Yeah, Charlie whooped my ass in his dreams. I told you, Charlie had delusions
of grandeur in his head. The Studio 54 thing, that blew over.
You know what I’m sayin’? But then, you know, here we go again. Cocaine is a hell of a drug. [Laughs] Rick is incorrigible. You know? He shows up at my
brother’s house f**ked up. – Nice place, n****. So he had these dirty cowboy boots on. Pushes us out of the
way, barges in our house. My brother had these brand
new couches – they was suede. Right? And he gets on the couch and says, “Why don’t I stretch out?” [Laughs] And just started grinding
mud on this new couch, man. Yeah, I remember grinding
my feet in Eddie’s couch. You remember why you did it? ’Cause Eddie could buy another one. F**k your couch, n****. Buy another one, you rich motherf**ker. F**k your couch, n****! F**k your couch! Darknesses! Darknesses! Because of my complexion,
he used to call me Darkness. He calls me and my brother Darkness. He calls us Darkness Brothers. See, this is long before Wesley Snipes. Back then, we was the
blackest n****s on the planet, according to Rick James. Eddie – both of them
was Brother Darkness. Twin Brother Darkness. And we standing there lookin’ at him, he’s lookin’ right in our eyes, as he grinds his mud. See, I never just did
things just to do them. Come on. I mean, what am I gonna do, just all of a sudden just jump up and grind my feet in somebody’s couch like it’s, you know, somethin’ to do? Come on. I got a little
more sense than that. Yeah I remember grindin’
my feet in Eddie’s couch. [Tape rewinding] See, I never just did
things just to do them. Come on. I mean, what am I gonna do, just all of a sudden just jump up and grind my feet in somebody’s couch like it’s, you know, somethin’ to do? Come on. I got a little
more sense than that. Yeah I remember grindin’ my feet in Eddie’s couch. But then it was like, you know
what? Let’s handle this. We went over there. Hey! Charlie Murphy! We held him down, and we
just whaled on his legs. Auuughhh! Auuughhh! You Darkness, you black, midnight, evil motherf**ker! Black magic, Darkness! You raw darkness, you…f**kin’…
delirious…motherf**ker. Ahh! You are cold as ice. But still, Rick James, even after
taking a beating like that… F**k your couch, n****. This motherf**ker’s goin’ out. His legs is like linguine. I’ve been kicked out of
better homes than this! I’ll be back, you black motherf**ker! Wide-nose-havin’ motherf**ker! They should’ve never
gave you n****s money! You don’t know how to appreciate s**t! You know you can get another couch! What am I gonna do about
my legs, Eddie Murphy? My brother, you know – he’s a lot
more compassionate than I am. He’s lookin’, and the limo’s drivin’ off. And he said, “Wow, man. Rick really needs help.” I was like, “Yo, we
just gave him some help. Bust his f**kin’ ass and s**t. I bet you he won’t come over here and disrespect like that again. Wrong. Wrong! We talkin’ about Rick James, man. Cocaine’s a hell of a drug. [Laughs]

Maurice Vega

100 Responses

  1. The fact that Micky Free confirmed this story on a Vlad Interview that Prince REALLY played them and in 6in heals at that, I diiiiiiied!!!😭😭😭😭💀💀💀

  2. Rick James: ”What did the 5 fingers say to the Face?
    Charlie Murphy: ”What?”
    Rick James: ”SLAP”!!! Lmao. The Best Ever!!!!

  3. Dave and Charlie are funny as hell but Rick James being there coked up trying to relive this shit is what made this sketch

  4. Rick James "what you think I would grind my feet into Eddie's couch, like it something to do. I got a little more sense than that..
    2 seconds later… Yeah I remember jumping up and grinding my feet on Eddie's couch..

  5. Charlie should have done his homework and realize that Prince used to be a college basketball player before going into music lol

  6. Imagine just to sit and listen to all the stories Charlie and Eddie had to tell…OMG. With Eddie doing the vocies and everything…time of my life

  7. This sketch is hilarious but you have to see rick's full interview. Rick makes some points and is a lot more coherent than how they make him appear in this edit.


  9. This story is funny because i actually know a guy who said he played vs prince in basketball and he pretty much said the exact same thing except for the pancakes after.

  10. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

  11. They killed Charlie and Dave….this was the real Chappelle not the clone….man miss these dudes… that synthetic Dave sucks.

  12. A few years ago, Mickey Free was asked about the basketball game and verified it to be true. He said, “Prince was Steph Curry all motherfucking night.” Also verified that the blouses did play in their clubbing clothes while the shirts were given shorts and sneakers. Free also added, Prince played in 6-inch heels

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