Adum & Merk: BBC Life Story (Episode 2)

[Adam] No, not again! Ow! [Mark] Ow, Jesus Christ.
[Adam] Stop being a bully. Where’s Cool Cat when you need him? Oh, there he is! [Mark] There he is!
[Adam] There he is! Ow! My brother’s being a bully, Cool Cat… [Mark] I’ll save you,
little fox. I’m coming! He’s just running to the Arctic. [David Attenborough] … and it can be rather painful.
[Mark] Ouch… [Adam] Life sucks! [D.A.] It’s a bower. [Adam] What is that, sorry? [Mark] A bear!
[D.A.] A five year old, juvenile, male, satin bowerbird. [Mark] Only five years old and trying to get the booty!
[Adam] They grow up so fast! [Mark] His little booty palace, little booty bird?
[Adam] The booty chamber. Swiggity swooty. [Mark] I’m building a cage for that booty. [D.A.] Blue decorations really please a female.
[Adam] Bitches love blue. [Mark] Uh oh, you’re in my booty trap!
[Adam] Gotcha now! [D.A.] Rather than drive him away, the master has other intentions.
[Adam] Oh… [D.A.] Seduction. [Mark] Oh, no, I don’t… [Adam] I wanna go home. [Mark] Don’t fly that way.
[Adam] I need an adult. [Mark] I’m scared… [D.A.] So, the master grabs the opportunity to practice his courtship play on him.
[Adam] Mom, I think I’m gay… Wow. Oh my god! This is great! [D.A.] He exits mid performance.
♪ In the arms of the angels, fly away… ♪ [Mark] Stupid little baby! [Adam] What assholes.
[Mark] I was just doing a sexy stripper dance for a baby. [Adam] I wasn’t trying to seduce a little boy, officer.
I was practicing my courtship dance. [Mark] I was practicing on the little boy.
[Adam] I was just practicing my striptease, I swear! [Mark] I swear its for women. [Mark] Wow!
[Adam] Ahh! Just thinking about my family and how much time
I’m going to be spending with them in two weeks. Where the fuck… where’s this cameramen?
[Mark] The best cameramen! [Adam] What is this? How did this shot happened?
[Mark] The ghost of Steve Erwin picked up the camera and started taking over. [Adam] Oh, god! [Mark] Sleep time. [Adam] Just dreams now.
[Mark] No more tears. [Adam] Dream about your retirement. [Adam] Its ogre. He got Shrekt. Ow! Jesus, dammit, fuck! [D.A.] The adults want to keep the juveniles down.
[Adam] Just like politics. [Mark] Fighting the man! [Adam] Ow! These are violent birds.
Ow, fuck! That was dirty. [Mark] Yeah. [Adam] You dirty birdy! [Mark] You’re grabbing my birdy butt.
[Adam] My birdy booty. Oh, god. That egg was not yolk. There was definitely some
fetus bird in there. Oh! [Mark] Yummy! Scrambled eggs! [Adam] Oh, no, the blood in the air.
[Mark] I like mine sunny side up. [D.A.] But gang life is a brutal existence.
[Adam] Oh, girl! [D.A.] At seven months old, this… [Adam] Seven months?
[Mark] Only seven months? [Adam] I don’t know… Good night. Ow, shouldn’t sleep here.
[D.A.] She catches sight of another tiger. [Adam] Swiggity swooty.
[Mark] Gonna bite your booty. [Adam] Well, I’m a slut.
[D.A.] This male will try to kill any of the old ruler’s cubs. [Adam] What?!
[Mark] Gotta keep the bloodline pure. [Adam] Just leave the kid… what are you doing,
just let them do whatever they want. Why do you gotta keep killing the kids?
[Mark] You know what’s funny? Human beings were exactly like this
not even too long ago, in history. [Adam] So that’s what you were doing last Thursday.
[Mark] Ahah, wiping out an entire family and like, taking the mother as my own.
[Adam] Got a new girlfriend. [Mark] Just chained up. [Adam] I threw her babies
down the drain and turned on the garbage disposal. [Mark] I beat the husband in mortal combat and now she’s mine. Oh, look at this little guy. [D.A.] A racket-tail must consume
a sip of energy rich nectar two thousand times a day. [Adam] It’s like, just a bunch of sugar, isn’t it?
[Mark] Yeah, he just drinks nature’s cocaine all day. [D.A.] …and his wings, at sixty times a second.
[Adam] Sixty times a second?! It’s not s… [Mark] Yeah. [Adam] Can’t…
[Mark] Yeah. [Adam] That’s fucked up. [Adam] Ah, did one of them piss? [Mark] Oh shit.
[Adam] Oh, what? [Mark] Wow, that’s so cool. [Adam] Get out of here, fuck.
[Mark] Bambi Grumble Bee guy. [Adam] Ow, fuck! Oh my god.
[Mark] I hate bees. [Adam] Life sucks. [Adam] Oh… [Mark] Oh my god!
[Adam] Oh, fuck, noo… [Mark] No, no, no! Oh my god! [Adam] Now I need more fucking crack.

Maurice Vega

100 Responses

  1. Just discovered this series by you, the entire time I can't stop laughing. You two are great, keep up the awesome work.

  2. where the fuck is part 3 goddamnit. I must have watched these two episodes like a hundred times. You bullies

  3. Did you ever get round to doing episode 3 these are classic hahahahaha not even the first time I've watched and still burst out laughing at your commentary

  4. I’m wondering what scoot woulda thought about the tiger segments, would that be a a reminder of his old days or something?

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